Last year I only reviewed three SummerSlam shows (2011, 2013 and 2015), this year I am going to try and review 2002, 2007, 2012 and 2016 (I literally drew these out of a hat). So I decided to get the worst SummerSlam (of the 4 that I am going to review) out of the way. This was the twentieth anniversary of SummerSlam and my final thoughts on it was that it was bad. Nothing on this show I would go back and watch, when I looked at the match card before I knew that this wasn't going to be good.
So we start SummerSlam 2007 with Kane vs. Finlay, they couldn't have picked a worse opener. This wasn't anything special, Kane had taped up ribs because of a shillelagh attack from Finlay. Hornswoggle made an appearance towards the end of the match, he basically just ran around ringside. In the end Finlay is just beating down Kane, Kane pops up and chokeslams Finlay 1...2...3, nothing to see here. Backstage we got the first of three drippy Vince, Teddy Long, Coach and William Regal segments, MVP comes in...nothing special.
The second match was an Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat Match between Carlito, Mr. Kennedy and the champion Umaga. This match was basically just Carlito and Kennedy trying to take down Umaga, the only two notable this about this match was a guy in the crowd who had a box on his head. As well as Mr. Kennedy hitting Umaga in the head with a TV Monitor. In the end Umaga hits a Samoan Spike on Kennedy for the 1...2...3 to retain his IC Title.
The third match of the night was Rey Mysterio's return from 10 months on the sideline, Rey tore his ACL, PCL and meniscus. But that doesn't explain why he came out painted silver, his chest was all silver paint...WHY REY WHY. This match was solid, commentary was JBL and Cole mostly talking about ring rust on Rey Mysterio (we heard them use the words "Maggle" and "Jawn" numerous times during the night). In the end Rey Mysterio hits the 619 and splash on Chavo for the pinfall, meh.
Backstage Booker T says that Triple H won't succeed in his comeback match tonight, this leads into the Divas Title #1 contenders battle royal...this was trash, Beth Phoenix wins, moving on. Then we get a ridiculously quick transition, Phoenix is in the ring celebrating and all of a sudden MVP is halfway down the ramp. MVP cuts a promo about drinking beer, Matt Hardy comes out and says that he has a substitute (Brother Nero?), Stone Cold comes out. Austin throws Beer at MVP before stunning him and posing, good enough segment. If they had JR calling this it would have been great, but Cole's voice ruined it.
Backstage there is one of WWE's typical stereotypical racist segments, Cryme Tyme come in and start singing. Coach and Teddy Long then start dancing around, so from here Vince and Regal are standing there as Cryme Tyme, Teddy Long and Coachman are dancing around them like a bunch of goofs. Then Regal starts dancing, Vince is horrified, Ron Simmons comes over and says Damn...that was two minutes of my life that I'll never get back.
Next is an ECW Championship match between CM Punk and John Morrison, okay match...CM Punk said in his documentary that he hated this match. It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't great either. In the end Morrison wins with a botched pin where he had his feet on the ropes. Triple H vs. Booker T, before this match there was a combined 10 minutes of video packages and entrances. Then there was the match which went for about ten minutes, Triple H won with a pedigree, nothing eventful. After the match HHH posed for what felt like 10 minutes.
Batista challenged The Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Championship next, this was a DUD match. Although looking back Khali was a monster and Batista was an absolute animal. Ultimately Khali just hits Batista in the back with a chair to get DQ'd thus retaining his title, after the match Batista went nuts on his with the steel chair. Backstage there is another horrible segment with the GM's where Mae Young comes in and starts trying to kiss Vince...GARBAGE!
Then we had the main event which was John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title, I can accurately review this match, Cena/Orton. That's what this was, sleepers, Orton dominating, before Cena's comeback and a good finish. The ending to this match saw Randy Orton go for a punt but miss, Cena would grab Orton and lock him in the STF, Orton would get his hand on the ropes. Both guys were tired, Orton then hits an RKO Outta Nowhere for a 2 count. Orton is slow to get up so Cena hits him with an Attitude Adjustment to get the victory 1...2...3 over Orton, thus Cena retains the WWE Title.
Overall Show Rating: Boring; This did not feel like a big anniversary show, the only good match was John Cena vs. Randy Orton...I don't want to go back and rewatch Cena / Orton over and over again. The rest of this show was trash, Finlay v Kane, Umaga dominating two mid carders, Rey Mysterio's return (which wasn't anything special), a Divas Battle Royal, MVP getting Stunned, a stereotypical backstage segment, Triple H beating Booker T in a boring match and a DUD World Title Match...don't put yourself through watching this show.